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Source: https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/news/articles/israel-citizen-soldiers
Israel's Citizen-Soldiers
(Tablet) Emily Benedek - Ari Kalker fought in the Commando Brigade in northern Gaza until the end of January. Kalker made aliya from Queens after 11th grade, 20 years ago, and now runs a construction company in Jerusalem that specializes in high-end renovations. I asked him how much of a role revenge for Oct. 7 played in the devastation we saw in pictures from Gaza. He was very clear. "If it doesn't serve some greater purpose, revenge isn't a reason for us to do something. That's not who we are." "Every building we searched had threats in them," including weapons and ammunition. If terrorists tried to reclaim an area by crawling out of a tunnel, "there should be no way that they can go back into a building and find the gun that they hid somewhere and then use it against us." I wondered, how do Kalker and the 300,000-odd soldiers in the reserves, including women, leave the battlefield, go home to the kids, all while counting down the days until they are called back to war? They were sent home, but not immediately. They were first sent to an Army vacation village for two days. "We got a full night of sleep in a bed with a real shower with a real meal beforehand and breakfast waiting in the morning." On the second day they were in "group therapy." "It was hilarious," he said. Their therapist was an army psychologist and former soldier who told them practical things like "you're not going to sleep properly for the first couple of weeks." He pointed out which symptoms would likely go away on their own. They learned that no one remembers everything, and no two people remember an event the same way. "Over the course of the 90-plus days we were in Gaza, I can remember in detail like, two events," he says. "The rest is all a blur." Others talked about the day a missile hit the room next door to them and blew down a wall. "I don't remember that at all," Kalker said. Another soldier said, "Wow, Ari, how do you not remember? The missile hit the room next to you and the wall fell on top of you." There was another event. They were in a building and someone started screaming, "get out, get out, get out!" They evacuated and "10 seconds later, the whole building just collapsed." Kalker said he asked, "Where was I when this happened?" A soldier said, "I was screaming into your ear, you were standing right next to me, and I pulled you out with me." "I don't remember that at all either," he said. He makes sense of civilian life like this: "During our days, we're switching from father, to husband, to whatever your job is. But underneath all of the costumes, we're wearing our IDF uniforms." That's always there. "I walk around with a gun on all day, every day," he explained. "I have one on me right now. I have a responsibility in the world around me....I'm not going to really be back until this is all over....The fate and future of the entire nation of Israel is on your shoulders."